The pushing, striving & struggling of a seed.

I found this gem by Caryll Houselander (†1954) this week in Magnificat. There is no circumventing the painful process of the green blade bursting through the "hard, frozen earth".

Learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, to be kind to yourself, by looking outwards to God, by accepting the fact that you are infinitely loved by Infinite Love, and that if you will only cease to build up notions of the perfection you demand of yourself, and lay your soul open to that love, you will cease to fear, and you will cease to be exhausted as soon as you stop fighting one part of yourself with another.

Realize that in you is the power, strength, and love of Christ, that you can carry all that darkness and not go under. If you realize that in you Christ lives his risen life, you will soon be convinced that you will also come right up through the darkness into the light. Try to believe that life is in you like a seed, pushing, striving, struggling up to light. Instead of fighting yourself, let this seed of supernatural life fight its way out through the darkness, just as an ordinary seed fights up through the darkness and heaviness of the hard, frozen earth.

First it has to sharpen its own green blade in the night and cut through the ground, but suddenly it breaks into flower, and when it does that, it does not see its own beauty. The world outside sees that. What it sees is the glorious sun that drew it up out of the darkness and into Light.

-- The Letters of Caryll Houselander, Her Spiritual Legacy